Wednesday, June 2, 2010
To be whole.
It's a process. A damn tricky one.
What is this state of being whole? Is it being happy? That must be part of it. The acceptance of flaws? Both your own and the imperfections of life? Yes. The strength to keep positive energy, even when life presents you with its toughest moments? Definitely.
I suppose being whole feels different to everyone. After all, we are all different balances and we house different perspectives. For me being whole is somewhere nestled between the above. True happiness comes with acceptance and acceptance remains only with a positive mind. It all sounds so beautiful and smooth- but something like that is much easier said than achieved. Which makes me remember that I'm human. And then I remember again: I'm human. One who lets her emotions get the best of her and one who, unfortunately, is suffering from a terrible, terrible case of a broken heart. But no matter how messed up I am I've accepted the workings of life. It began with the earlier post (Breath Of Life) and even though I fight battles inside of myself every day I understand. I accept.
Life doesn’t stop. No matter how bruised up you are or what’s broken. It won’t wait for you to stop grieving the parts of you that you have lost.
You can hide all you want. Host a thousand funerals for yourself. But life will keep going.
I have yet to master the art of sewing. To me, being whole requires the workings of a seamstress. The pieces of me are continuously changing. I am susceptible to change, to growth and evolution. Whenever a part of me is unstitched, I must find the part that will take its place- the piece that will help me on my journey to being whole.
Like I mentioned before, this is so much easier said then done.
And I must admit that I'm crying. Crying because I’m not there yet. Because I know it is going to take a lot to get there.
But I will get there.
And when I get there I will probably cry too because I'm just that type of person. *Smiles*
It's gradual, this process. It takes some losses- probably a lot more then anyone would like to think about. But remember that you chose what to replace your loss with. If you chose wisely you will always gain. Always. Always.